I think I might lie here a little longer

How to not to prepare for a marathon:

  • Run hill repeats the Saturday AND Tuesday leading into race weekend because you’ve been kind of lazy following the No Training Marathon Training Program but you heard it was a hilly course. 
  • Don’t taper.  Tapering causes Marathonia.
  • Run your first ever one mile race two days before the marathon.  (Editor’s note: second ever – if you count the beer mile.  Which you should not count.).
  • Run a hilly 10K race the day before marathon.
  • Eat new foods, drink strange drinks, and be overly merry the four days leading into the marathon.  It probably goes without saying, but definitely do not get enough sleep.
  • Walk from one end of the host country to the other country during the four days leading into the marathon.  This works best if the country is only 31K by 2K in size; for bigger countries extend the timeframe accordingly.   
  • Program Garmin to crash the evening before the marathon, but don’t notice that Garmin is dead until you are walking to the start line.  Panic accordingly.
  • “Train” in -20C and race in +20C.
  • When in doubt, follow the No Training Marathon Training Program.

Title: The Decemberists – This Sporting Life.  2005.

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5 responses to “I think I might lie here a little longer

  1. Dear god. You did all that? HERO.

  2. She’s MY hero.

  3. She’s always been MY hero!

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