Three things I recently learned about trail running:
1. Mosquitos do not hibernate during the day and if you run on overgrown Northern Bruce Trails seldom frequented by humans you will be attacked by a swarm of hungry super bugs and if you don’t run fast enough you will carried away to the mosquito mother nest where you will be drained of all blood. Or you will go insane from the buzzing.
2. If you run on overgrown Northern Bruce Trails seldom frequented by humans you will run through vegetation that will attack you, leaving red bumps, abrasions, and other battle wounds on your sensitive lower legs. The surface wounds will itch for the next 36 hours. You will pledge to wear tall socks and refresh your knowledge of toxic greenery before attempting a similar run.
3. If you run on well travelled Southern Bruce Trails you may encounter the Giant Hogweed. This Giant Hogweed may be the last thing you ever see. For the uninitiated, the Giant Hogweed is a “weed that can grow six metres tall, sprout massive leaves and produce toxic, blindness inducing sap is creeping into Ontario and parts of British Columbia“. Reread that sentence carefully. The sap from this plant can cause blindness. The Giant Hogweed in the photo, compliments of the Globe & Mail, was found in the location of My Next Trail Race. Perhaps I shouldn’t worry. Not everyone goes blind. Some just suffer “burns and permanent scarring”.
Title Reference: Genesis – Return of the Giant Hogweed*. 1971. *Seriously, they wrote a song about a time when the Giant Hogweed poses a menace of apocalyptic proportions, threatening the human race. I stole that last line from Wikipedia. Yes, this weed is so tough someone wrote a song about.