Their Royalnesses, Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles, are on an 11 day Canadian Tour. This is his fifteenth visit to the colony, her first. As I am neither a dignitary with invitations to events of a royal nature, nor a super fan willing to line up for a glimpse of the heir to the throne, I am unlikely to cross paths with the future figurehead of my nation and his wife-nee-mistress. According to the Globe and Mail, unglamorous ordinary women find a welcome icon in Camilla. Do we? Without the royal pomp and circumstance I couldn’t pick the woman out of a police lineup. Diana I could sketch from memory. Except I can’t draw. Although I am a reincarnated 60-year British woman, I’m not swooning with excitement. The royal visit has none of the enthusiasm and splendor I remember when the late Queen Mum travelled across the pond. I’d put out tea if Queen Elizabeth II stopped by. But Charles and Camilla? Meh. I’ll watch them on the late news, if I can stay awake. Still, in honour of the nobility I present a running playlist for the blue blooded.
King of the Road – Roger Miller. Positive affirmation: I am king of the road. I am king of the road. I’m a man of means by no means, King of the Road.
The Queen is Dead – The Smiths. Past the pub who saps your body and the church who’ll snatch your money. Just another Sunday morning long run.
Royal Oil – Mighty Mighty Bosstones. The MMBs was the first concert I attended with Husband, way back in our youthful university days. Their musical style, according to Wikipedia, is third wave ska. The lyrics may sound melancholy, but this tempo is upbeat and runable. Long, lonely road, long road to ruin. Wrong path to take, great big mistake. And then you sleep down in the soil. Nothing comes from nothing, come on royal oil. I don’t even know what the hell royal oil means but I like it.
Rascal King – Might Mighty Bosstones. Did I mention I love the Mighty Mighty Bosstones? The last hurrah? Nah! I’d do it again. It’s like that Nike ad: Today you may feel like you’ll never run another marathon again. See you next year.
Rasputin – Bony M. He was big and strong in his eyes a flaming glow. Hey, hey, hey hey hey. I propose it is impossible to listen to this song and not want to move.
King of Spain – Moxy Früvous. Best band you’ve never heard of. Now I eat humble pie. Everyone who optimistically lines up in a corral 15 minutes ahead of their realistic finish time has taken a slice from that tasty dish. Mmmm, humble pie.
Rain King – Counting Crows. I’m scared I might not make it home. Home may be literal, as in the place you reside, or metaphorical, as in home plate, the finish line, the end of the run.
Two Princes – Spin Doctors. This song has nothing to do with running, but the fitting line just go ahead now is repeated about 53 times. Just go ahead now.
Queen of Hearts – Juice Newton. Playing with the Queen of Hearts, knowing it ain’t really smart. A don’t-mess-with-me song to spur you past those costumed runners.
All these Things We’ve Done – The Killers. The first line is when there’s no where else to run. That lyric alone earns this song a spot on my playlist.
When I Ruled the World – Coldplay. This song is in constant rotation on my playlist. I’m not sure why a fallen king motivates me to run faster, but for some reason I can’t explain I know Saint Peter will call my name. That was when I ruled the world.
Killer Queen – Queen. Let them eat cake she says! I like her. To the cake!
Dancing Queen – ABBA. With a little bit of rock music everything is fine. Isn’t that why we run with our controversial iPods?
Ballad of the Teenage Queen – Johnny Cash. Modesty is a virtue. The faster you run the less you should talk about time. She was tops in all they said, never once went to her head.
King Tut – Steve Martin. This song should first be heard with visuals. It’s good for a laugh and at mile 23 I can use a good laugh. Rocking for a mile. Funky Tut.
God Save The Queen – The Sex Pistols. Controversial at the time (1977) the group claims this song was not an attack on Queen Elizabeth II but a battle cry for the working class. The song was banned by the BBC, which ups the appeal. The lyrics will make you think about something other than your sore hamstrings. Value of distraction, priceless.
Honourable mention goes to Prince for Little Red Corvette. Prince for obvious reasons and Little Red Corvette because baby you’re much too fast.