I am officially a Marathon Maniac. Husband is now a maniac twice over. Double the madness. Actually, it’s not official unless I officially join. I now qualify to become a Marathon Maniac, albeit the lowest calibre of maniac. The Marathon Maniacs are, quite simply, people who run a heck of a lot of marathons. They also pay an annual membership fee ($35 initial membership cost, $10 annual renewal, $58 for the singlet featuring the crazy-eyed runner).
Marathon Maniacs are classified according to their degree of insanity, from a little loopy to certifiably insane. To wit,
#1. BRONZE LEVEL (translation, a little loopy):
1. Back to Back Marathons* (two marathons in consecutive weekends, races can be run on either Saturday or Sunday).
2. Two Marathons in 3 weeks.
3. Three Marathons in 3 months.
Note: Husband has met the bronze criteria 1 and 2 and he attests that 1 is immeasurably harder than 2.
… (Click to view the levels in between. Stop complaining, I can’t do all the work.)
#9. TITANIUM LEVEL (translation, certifiably insane):
1. 52 Marathons or more in one calendar year.
2. 30 Marathons in 30 US States, Countries, or Canadian Provinces (any combination) in 1 calendar year.
3. 20 Countries in one calendar year.
Note: I will NEVER become a titanium maniac. Never.
*My double-header (Marine Corps Marathon October 25 and New York City Marathon November 1) meet criteria 1 under the bronze level. I am only a little loopy. Time difference between 1 and 2 = 14 minutes. 14 long, my god what happened to my hamstrings and why is 5th avenue uphill, minutes. Both were BQs, which was my secret goal. Still, I won’t do this again (at least not anytime soon). Turns out I’m saner than suspected.
Title Reference: Michael Sembello – Maniac. From the album Bossa Nova Hotel and Flashdance Soundtrack. 1983.