I am a criminal. It is just a matter of time before the city by-law officer apprehends me. My crime? Exercising in city parks. More accurately, I exercise through the parks as I run from end to end on my many routes traversing the city. A group of seniors were recently caught red-handed (footed?) walking in the park as a warm-up to their community centre fitness class. Area residents reported the illegal class to the by-law office, who sent officials out to investigate. I’m sure glad the area residents are keeping our parks free of lawless old folks. I think they should target the delinquent mommy-and-me groups next. The seniors refused to talk, but armed with a camera and a notepad the by-law officer collected enough incriminating evidence to convict. As every good citizen knows, Municipal Code Chapter 608, Parks, states that anyone who holds events for profit in a park must pay the city $28.65 an hour. A paid senior’s fitness class is an event for profit. Lawbreakers face up to $250 in fines. That’ll take a bite out of the pension cheque. Think twice before you sign up for pilates in the park, you might be accessory to a crime. In reading the fine print, my weekly run is not flouting the city rules, as I certainly do not run for profit. Those fitness-crazed seniors though, you need to watch out for them.
Title Reference: When I’m Sixty-Four – The Beatles. From the album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. 1967.