Spring has sprung. To a runner this means the return of the dogs. After being cooped up all winter by their fair-weather owners they’ve been unleashed, literally. I am not a Frisbee. Do not chase me. Neither the dogs, nor their oblivious human-parents, realize that my 30+K legs can no longer hurdle or sidestep around their four-legged companions. I’m likely to fall over (or on top of) any dog in my path. Abrupt stops are nearly impossible when my legs are moving forward on autopilot. Yes your dog is lovably cute, but if it jumps on me I may not have the strength to stay upright.
The worst though? Those dogs that don’t see a playmate running by, but a tasty pork chop. The ones salivating at the mouth, blood from their latest victim dripping from their canines, choking themselves against the restraints of their leash as they lunge at me with all their might, barking and snarling menacingly. The owners, as they struggle to maintain control of their bloodthirsty dog, assure me not to worry – Killer is harmless. Wouldn’t hurt a cat. I, on the other hand, realize that Killer’s genetic predator-prey instincts have kicked in and as I trot on by his wolverine DNA is eyeing up dinner. I’m not about to linger, I’m picking up the pace. Cold fear – that’s one way to find my maximum heart rate.
Title Reference: Baha Men – Who let The Dogs Out (otherwise known as The. Most. Annoying. Song. Ever.). From the soundtrack Rugrats in Paris. 2000